CYBER SPACE RELATIONSHIPS

Internet is not just a world in which information could be found about any and all subjects the human mind could possibly imagine. The internet is a way for family members and friends living far from home to keep close contact with their loved ones. The positive effects of internet is quite obvious, the disadvantages that it intrigues the impressionable adolescent mind and leads them to content which they are immature to comprehend.

As a   journalist, I have made internet part of my life. Switching it on now and then. Upon arrival back home in the evening, the first thing I do as I enter my house is to turn on my mobile networks checking emails; several chat services. Which I think is border line addiction in my case.

An addiction is defined as, “compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance characterized by tolerance and by well defined psychological symptom upon withdrawal.”

During an online survey, 25,521 internet users were screened about their usage of internet, and 30% of them get on to net to escape negative feeling in their lives. Clinical research shows that the mean age of men addicted to the internet is 29 and for the women its 43. As for as vocational background 42% come from no background at all, 39% come from non-tech white collar, 11% from blue collar and 8% from white collar. The most addictive online applications have proven to be 35% chat, 28% MUD, 15% new groups, 13% e-mails, 7% world wide web(WWW) and 2% just for information.

English speaking countries, studies have found that accelerated intimacy, ease and availability of access, anonymity, dis inhibition, loss of boundaries makes anyone want to be a part of this World Wide Web (WWW).

Researchers have found that, there are four internet addictions namely-

Cyber relation addiction-is one where someone is addicted to chat rooms and is over involved in online relations.Net is the dangerous most addiction  where gamblers invest thousands of  dollars on the net which in the end not only disrupts  their job related duties, but also become bothersome to loved ones around them. Information overload addicts are addicted to unlimited information that can be found on internet. Engaging with cyber sex with individual’s online leads to developing relationship with them. People who have this addiction are most likely addicted because of anonymity the internet offers, the connivance and also the escape.

Center for online addiction states the following,” Gender significantly influences the way men and women view cyber-sex. Women prefer cyber sex because it hides their physical appearance, removes the social stigma that women should not enjoy sex.  Men prefer this because it removes performance anxiety that may be underlying problems with premature ejaculation or impotence and it hides their physical appearance for men who feel secure about their hair loss. The male organ of copulation, or weight gain”.

Being addicted is the life challenging thing, don’t you think so? In the 21^st century, to say that anyone who meets others online will develop relationships with them, later taking it to another level and adding sexual contact to their relationships is not applicable.

I have big list of friends in my contact, some of whom I know personally and some who  are know through different lists.  They have become part of my life, but as an internet addict myself, if I were not to speak to them, I’d feel I am missing something.

In one of my researches, I went through Dr. Suller, who created a book on cyber psychology which says, “The multiple aspects of one’s identity may be dissociated, enhanced or integrated online.”How easy it is for people to get addicted to creating selves on the internet which something you aren’t. This is problematic, because these happen when you are dejected completely by the real you around your circle, that completely affects yourself esteem.

Dr. Suller mentions that some people find really genuine “true” relationships in cyberspace. These couples have found something genuine and real. So it is imperative for prospective couples to meet and   see whether they possess those qualities.

In fact a friend of mine met some one month ago, the one she met on internet. People argue that how’s it possible; how the internet meeting differs from corner bar. I think it is much safer because you are not only exposed, as you would be at bar or club. The internet is an added means of meeting people and getting to know them without inhibitions that might exist meeting someone face to face.

Trying hard to make an impression often restrains us getting to know the real person, someone who we really are. Meeting people on internet before those initial first impressions are made to enlighten, is in my opinion a step forward.

Not going too far, our older generations keep on   surfing the matrimonial sites for our future spouses, then how come it becomes a taboo if we use it ourselves..

Think over!